The Wind in the Trees

For anyone curious about the simplicity of just following Jesus


Attachment Love: Does Your Church Have It?

In the last post, I spoke about how God calls us to attachment-love, a specific kind of love, not the anything goes, put-flowers-in-your-hair kind of love I embraced as a hippie. The word ‘attachment’ qualifies God’s love very well because it’s a love that will not let go until it is utterly and finally rejected by the beloved.

As we saw last time, God attaches himself to us with a greater bond than that of a nursing mother to her baby. Jesus showed us this commitment on the cross.

But the next move he makes completely discombobulates us. Jesus says, “Love one another with the same attachment-love I have for you!” Wait a minute, love others like you did when you died for us? “Exactly!”

But how can we possibly do that? Maybe we can see this love in the marriage ideal. We vow to attach ourselves to one another “until death do us part.” Hopefully, the rest of the family also participates in a love like this. If you’re fortunate, you may have one or two friends with whom you share the understanding of a life-long commitment.

But what about beyond that? What about the church, the community Jesus specifically wants to build with his attachment-love?

And here I turn it over to you.

Have you ever been a part of a church or fellowship where you experienced this kind of attachment-love?

Does your church preach this sort of commitment to each other? If so, what does it look like? How do they say it will happen?

My biggest disappointment in twenty-seven years of pastoral ministry is not seeing this kind of fellowship come to fruition. Nevertheless, I still find that the power of this vision draws me on and fills me with hope. Is it possible?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.




13 responses to “Attachment Love: Does Your Church Have It?”

  1. Well, I’ve been giving this some thought.
    So, Jesus commands us to love with the same attachment love as He shows us., right.
    Not to be checking our feelings to see if we feel the same attachment love from this person or that person.
    So, as in anything in life, if I am showing up and giving love and believing other believers in Christ are doing the same thing, then YES the church is showing the same kind of attachment love.
    Why?..because WE are the church WE are the body.
    Now, as imperfect as we all are, we fall short, sometimes quite often.
    And we are to surround ourselves with those who will correct in love and redirect us to our purpose in Christ.
    That is not always easy on either party.
    Believe me, typing this is my reminder to a) show attachment love
    b) stop judging others and taking offence if I don’t FEEL their attachment love
    c) accept the loving correction and redirection of others to get back to being a good reflection of Jesus love

    Thanks Andrew for the reminder

    1. Really deeply spiritual response, Shelley. And I liked your comment about reminding yourself of these truths as you wrote. I have to remind myself constantly as it seems so easy to forget.

  2. Akke Stretch Stretch Avatar
    Akke Stretch Stretch

    I have experienced a golden time of attachment love in a church. The church’s leadership truly understood how to disciple members to show love for each other and the wider community. Leadership crumbled as did the church. ‘Have not attended church since Covid 19. I am searching but I have become so wary, but never bitter. ‘God’s unfailing love’ is enough for now.

    1. So sorry to hear of your sad church experience, Akke. I’m glad to hear you’re still searching. That’s the main thing. You haven’t given up hope! I think many of us have tasted of this love and it’s what keeps us going and looking for more. All the best

  3. You know how it feels when after clouds and rain for days the sum breaks through? Experiencing that is how I liken seeing the love of Christ at work in the church I attend. There is a lot of selfishness in that people tend to protect themselves from real or imagined hurts but once in a while LOVE breaks through and shines. I have to remember to be a part of that LOVE all the time no matter what is around me. Be Light.

    1. I love this. You’ve put it so well and so poetically! So true that we tend to selfishness to protect ourselves from hurts, real or perceived.

  4. Yea, I think you’ve hit on one of the main things people have against the church and one of the main things that block Jesus-like love there, the fear of being judged by other members which too often is a justified fear.

  5. Would LOVE to experience this kind of fellowship love

    1. Hey Denis, do you think it’s possible? What would it look like for you?

      1. Not to be judged but to be accepted and included in all aspects of a church family.

  6. It’s certainly countercultural, so very hard to find. Even in the church.

    1. Very true, Mary. Any ideas on how we might see this kind of fellowship arise?

      1. Well, the church is made up of imperfect people so I think it will always be a problem, but as we grow more Christlike there will be sparks of this type of love within it.

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