Tomorrow, my mother turns 100!
I’ve been incredibly fortunate to have had a queen for a mother all these years! I say “queen” because that’s the way she has always carried herself– with poise and grace. She has always been self-controlled and composed, able to project peace rather than anger (except when she went absolutely ballistic when my brother, Walter, and I peed in her container of bobby bins when we were mad at her!).
What has always stood out to me about my mother is that despite a queenly dignity, she does not stand aloof from others. Rather, she emanates warmth and kindness to all. She taught her five children to be big-hearted and to welcome everyone. At our table there was always room for anyone we brought home.
Putting her faith in Jesus into action, she especially cared for those in need. Hence, she was instrumental in settling some Kosovo refugees in London in the ’90’s.
My mom was always full of wise sayings some of which have stayed with me to this day. “Honey catches more flies than vinegar” could have been her life motto.
Another one she drilled into us, no doubt arising from her practical Scottish heritage, was, “If wishes were horses, then beggars would ride.” In other words, don’t wait around expecting things to happen for you. You’ve got to take charge of your own life.
“There’s little choice in rotten apples,” was another of her favourites. Don’t let circumstances force you into a bad move.
I’ve always been grateful that my mom was never intimidated by having to learn new things. Today, at 100, she texts and does video chats with children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. Not too long ago she was playing bridge online. Along with my father, she taught me to aspire to education. I never thought of not going to university.
The youngest child of a successful businessman, her early years were privilged in many ways. She suffered no want in the Great Depression. However, her mettle was tested to the max in mid-life. In 1971, not only did she not expect to live to 100, she didn’t know if she could get through another day.
My father left his teaching job in London and, as my mom was a pharmacist, my parents bought a drug store in Strathroy.
And then all hell broke loose.
My father had suffered bouts of mental illness as a child, but despite that and extreme war trauma, he had managed to function reasonably well. Now, however, his bipolar disease broke out in full force. In his manic state, he began to talk to everyone about grandiose ideas ranging from creating a cashless society to living in geodesic domes. This included talking to customers at the front checkout of the drug store. As many in his condition do, he began to self-medicate with heavy drinking.
On top of this, my brother’s and my life were a mess. We had bought into the hippie lifestyle and now had been charged with possession of marijuana. Not only that, my mom’s mother was dying of cancer in the Strathroy hospital. Furthermore, three younger siblings at home still needed her attention.
All this in addition to the responsibility of prescribing drugs and running a drug store left her hanging by a thread. During the chaos of that time, when she opened her eyes in the morning, she would pray that God would simply enable her to get back to bed that evening.
Clearly, the storms of life were threatening to sink her, but just in time, “the cavalry came over the hill.” To this day she still does not know who, but someone put a copy of Catherine Marshall’s book, Beyond Ourselves, in her mailbox. She was going under and knew she needed strength she did not have. That book became the life raft of God’s presence she was able to cling to for dear life.
My parents ended up having to sell what had become a very successful drug store business and move back to London. Because of my dad’s illness, he was never able to work steadily again. However, my mother persevered, supporting the family with a job at the Southwest Middlesex Health Centre where she was the pharmacist until she retired.
So to you, Mom, I say, congratulations on a life that tells “of days in goodness spent.” You have been tried in the fire and come through as gold. The words of the apostle Paul apply aptly to you. “You have fought the good fight. You have finished your course (well, not quite!). You have kept the faith. Hence forth there is a crown laid up for you in heaven!”
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