“to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace.” Luke 1:79
In a short book Herman Melville tells the story of, Bartleby, a mild, unassuming office clerk. Whenever he’s given a task to do, Bartleby replies, “I would prefer not to.” His tone and manner are so quiet and inoffensive, that no one knows how to respond to him and he’s left alone.
In the previous two posts in this series (here & here), we saw that one way Jesus guides us into peace is by teaching us to refuse to encroach upon the free will of others. That means no whining, intimidating, shaming or withdrawing our affection in order to get our way. But how do we respond when others attempt to crowd out our inner space with their demands?
Many assume that the way of peace means being a passive doormat, someone who’s too timid to assert themselves. Considering the life of the Prince of Peace for a brief moment, however, should immediately dispel that objection. Jesus simultaneously embodied perfect peace and perfect courage.
Respecting others’ free will does not mean we simply let them have their way. No one has a right to violate our inner space either. Too often we enable the controlling behaviour of those close to us out of fear. Their anger disturbs us and we want peace at any cost. We’re afraid if we don’t give into them, we will lose their love. We’re haunted by a fearful sense of shame and so when others guilt us, we give in. Walking in the way of peace requires bravery and fearlessness.
This Christmas, if a friend or family member pressures you to take a drink you don’t want or to enter into gossip, a quiet but firm, “I’d prefer not to,” is completely acceptable. When they continue to pressure you, asking for reasons why, no further answer is needed. With your sovereign free will you have made a decision and that is enough. There is a time to be silent.
Similarly, do not let your inner voice of condemnation bully you. Do you really have to make your pie from scratch rather than picking one up at Costco? When you’re already up to your eyeballs with Christmas duties do you have to buy another present for that person who surely doesn’t need it? Remember Bartleby and quietly put that inner voice in its place, “I would prefer not to.” Giving in to the controlling behaviour of others, whether another human being or a dark force within, is not God’s will.
Hoping you have a meaningful, peace-filled Christmas!
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